My "Why" Why am I so focused on my fitness and my mindset as I get into my mid-50s and beyond? Why do I post frequently about my journey on Instagram and why am I publishing this website and my videos and audio tracks?
The reason: to inspire myself, and others, to become the best versions of ourselves as we get older. To embrace the mindset that age is not a limitation, it is an asset. To decide, every day, to make a positive impact in the lives of others. To push myself outside of my comfort zone and put in the hard work, consistently, to achieve my goals, so that I am best able to inspire and support others to achieve theirs.
My Fitness Journey My fitness journey goes back a long way: to when I was 13 years old, living in Overland Park, Kansas (a suburb of Kansas City) in the American midwest. I was not athletic before then - I was a chubby kid who usually spent most of the time on the bench on my soccer teams and failed many of the physical fitness tests we did every year in Physical Education class. The change came when my stepfather, Bob Rodriguez, started running in local races and invited me to run one with him. I started training by running short loops around my neighborhood. Fairly soon, my chubby physique turned into a lean physique and I could run farther and faster. I was able to keep up with my stepfather in the local races and, suddenly, being fit became fun.
Then I had my first big "what if" moment (I have borrowed this term from David Goggins). What if I trained really hard for the 1 mile physical fitness test coming up my 8th grade year? What could I achieve? Could I keep up with the star athletes from my school? I dedicated myself to finding out. I worked harder than I had ever worked for anything in my young life. And when the big day of the 1 mile race came, not only did I keep up with the star athletes, I left them behind and set the school record for the mile, at 5:52. From that day forward, I knew the pride that could come from setting a goal and putting in the work to achieve it.
When I got to high school, that mentality stayed with me at times, and I lost track of it at times. I made the high school cross country team in my freshman season and the seniors invited me to run with them in the annual Macy's Marathon in Kansas City. I was only 14. I had to get a letter from my doctor to even be allowed to sign up. I was the youngest person to finish the race and finished in under four hours. But I also got distracted by friends, jobs, and parties and underperformed in my final three years on the cross country team. I had moments of brilliance and ran two more marathons in increasingly faster times, but I lacked one key factor: consistency. I was good when I felt motivated and distracted when I did not.
In college at Notre Dame, I was focused more on excelling in class than excelling in fitness, but I had one big moment which helped to shape my mindset. Another "what if" moment. What if I could run a sub-three-hour marathon? I approached a tall, fast runner in my dorm named Matt with a proposition: I would push him to run long if he pushed me to run fast. Together, we would help each other improve in the area we were weak, and together, we would break three hours. We ran long, fast runs through northern Indiana, day after day after day. He would push the pace and I would push the distance. After all that training, it was finally race day. We believed we could achieve the goal because we had put in the work. I crossed the finish line at 2:54 (and Matt at 2:58). To this day, I can still feel the pride I felt from putting in so much hard work and having it pay off.
As I have gotten older, this mindset has become more and more important to me. I am more focused now, more disciplined, more consistent. I am also more brave and more willing to challenge myself to new things. I started doing triathlons in my 40s and doing obstacle course races in my 50s. I set PRs (personal records) at most of my racing distances in my 40s and in the 5K in my 50s. To this day, I challenge myself to place near the top of my age group in the races I run. There are certainly obstacles: sore knees, injuries, longer recovery times. But I stay positive and know I am capable of bouncing back each time. As they say, the setback makes the comeback even sweeter. I remember as I compete that the pain I am feeling is temporary but the pride I will feel from accomplishing my goal will last forever.
There's a flipside to this mentality. I am more acutely aware than ever of the mistakes I have made. I feel more regret for the times I fell short, the people I let down, the opportunities I squandered. Just like pride is forever, so is regret. The lesson is to be present in the moment, give your energy to the people you care about (including yourself), and seize the opportunities that life gives to you. If you make a mistake, learn from it, and become better because of it. That's the best way to ease the pain of regret.
As this journey takes me into my 50s and beyond, I am left with a sense of profound gratitude. For my family, my wife, and my friends. For all of the people that inspire me and support me. For my daily bread and for the beauty around me. For small acts of kindness and love. For my health and the health of the people I love. From gratitude comes a strong sense of positivity. And from positivity comes the realization that you can do anything. With focus and hard work, consistently, you can!
My Background I realize you've already read a lot about me on this page, but if you are still interested in learning more about me and my background, you are welcome to keep reading! Here are some facts about me that help define who I am and how I got to this point in my life:
I grew up in the Midwest region of the United States, born in St. Louis, Missouri and raised for most of my childhood in the Kansas suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City is confusing: most of the city is in Missouri, but a state line cuts right through the area and there is massive suburban sprawl on the Kansas side of the border. I spent many days crossing back and forth between the two states because I lived in Kansas and went to high school in Missouri!
I was blessed to grow up surrounded by strong, independent, confident women who believed in themselves and paved their own trails. My mom was a successful saleswoman by day who taught aerobics by night, yet was always there for me and my sister as a constant source of support and positivity. My sister was a friendly, magnetic, driven young woman who stood out in every crowd for all of the right reasons. My grandmother was an endless source of activity and energy who won tennis tournaments in her 60s and finished a triathlon in her 70s.
After graduating from college at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, I took my mom's advice and applied to my "stretch school" for law school. I never thought I would get in, but I would never know unless I tried. To my amazement, Harvard Law School accepted me and that brought me to the city of Boston for the very first time. My plan was to graduate and move back to the Midwest to practice law, but I ended up loving the beauty and history of Boston and New England and I am still here, over 30 years later. This experience taught me a valuable lesson: don't be afraid to take a shot. You might miss, and it might hurt or feel embarrasing, but you'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And nothing hurts worse than regret.
You can follow my professional career on my LinkedIn profile, but for a very short summary, after working at a large corporate law firm for a few years, I figured out what I really love to do: work with technology companies to help them close deals with customers and to make their operations more efficient. So when I'm not working out or enjoying time with family, I'm working with my talented, committed teammates to grow our business and improve our operations.
Speaking of family, I have four wonderful children from an earlier marriage and two wonderful stepchildren with my beautiful wife, Christina. Every one of them is fascinating and talented and fun in their unique way. We live in the suburbs just outside of Boston. My wife is a thriving artist and an art educator. Check out her beautiful paintings on her website!!
I'm in my 50s now and embracing the mindset that age is just a number. I believe that every decade can become my best decade yet, because each decade, I get wiser, more focused, and more determined. Every day, every year, and every decade is an opportunity to become your best you - embrace each one as it comes and do not put it off to the future. Today is the only day you can count on having!